this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
