You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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