I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
