I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
