The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
