the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
