Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize