Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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