I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
