My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this boner is exhausting
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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