so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
