i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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