who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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