I am puke
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
