Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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