if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
