I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
