It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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