even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
