cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
