Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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