I want to have your abortion
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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