You can't motorboat a personality
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
