We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
