I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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