There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
