the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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