As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
