Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
