Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
