do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize