Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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