i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
