We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
