Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
