is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
