I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
