WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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