Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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