wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
