Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
