is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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