dude i'm inner monologue high
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I just shit out all my problems.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
