there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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