I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
