I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
