You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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