Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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