YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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