and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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