she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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