How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize