garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
zippers are such a cool invention
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
