It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
