i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The air taste purple.
Randomize
