i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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