Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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(561): View more from Florida

We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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(315): View more from New York

mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

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(516): View more from New York

oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick

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(904): View more from Florida

Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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(750): View more from

Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.

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