So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
