yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
