I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize