And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
