Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
