What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
