I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
