Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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