I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
