If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
