I want to have your abortion
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
