Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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